Every week, I write 12 horoscopes for readers who find my offerings in newspapers, on the internet, and in this newsletter. That has been my main gig for most of my adult life. I love it! The task of creating crisp new oracles always renews me.
My career as a horoscope columnist began accidentally when I responded to a help wanted ad in a newspaper. Although I initially had doubts about how to do the job with integrity, I learned the secret quickly. In time, my lucky fluke of a gig evolved into a career I loved and performed with joyous devotion.
Along the way, I added an unexpected nuance to my job description. Although the ideas I fed my readers were more unruly than soothing, more rousing and beguiling than strictly practical, many of them could be construed as being advice. So part of my work as a horoscope columnist has been as an advice columnist.
A key element in most advice columns is counsel about love and romance and intimate relationships. And even in the early days, that became a feature of mine.
My suggestions rarely offered readers directions on how to proceed if their lovers harbored sexual inhibitions or were showing signs of cheating.
I was more likely to encourage readers and their lovers to write poetry on each other's naked bodies with felt-tip markers or sing songs to each other in the dark with their clothes on inside-out or run along the beach in the rain exclaiming improvised prayers to the muse of ecstatic melancholy.
Over time, I added earthier recommendations, too, although usually with an undertone of playful lyricism. I imagined my role as that of a healing trickster who incited and inspired rather than as a clinician who tried to fix what was broken.
My approach was inflected with the rebel ethic I had developed while a teenager in response to the dehumanizing status quo of American culture. I was part-punk, part-Yippie, part-insurrectionary artist. But I always meant well. Compassion infused everything I did. My anarchist sympathies were rooted in strong moral convictions.
Furthermore, my urge to foment benevolent trouble was well grounded and well educated. Although I had no formal training as a psychologist, I had read widely in psychological literature and was conversant in the language of psychotherapy. Among my favorite authors were Carl Jung, founder of analytical psychology, and the brilliant author and teacher he mentored, Marie-Louise von Franz.
Was it midway through my second year of writing the column? I remember a twilight in mid-June. As I rode my bicycle up a steep hill toward the University of California in Santa Cruz, training my lungs and legs for an upcoming rock and roll performance, I had an epiphany. I realized the horoscopes I wrote were love letters. Short and pithy, yes, not snaky long and crammed with purple prose. But they were clearly love letters: intimate messages from me to my readers.
As I reached the top of the hill, where High Street meets Bay Drive, my heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat bloomed in an understanding that my readers were not merely YOU. They were THOU—the sacred, higher octave of YOU.
I saw that together, we were interwoven in an I <–> THOU relationship.
I wondered if there was also a sacred, higher octave of "I"? Perhaps "I!" or " I2"?
I2 aspired to see the glad genius in every THOU as well as the suffering struggler trying to find their way home to deeply felt meaning and purpose. I longed to give them personal, intimate, playful versions of loving care that maybe only a dreamy stranger could provide.
And their gifts for me were equal to my gifts for them. They awakened me to my own deeply felt meaning and purpose. Because of their influences, my half-dormant talents ripened into more elegant self-expression. They gave me the sacrosanct privilege of welcoming my words into their psyches. I was honored and exultant to compose my very best oracles for them.
At the top of the hill, at the entrance to UCSC, was a motto carved into a redwood log: Fiat Lux, Latin for "Let there be light." According to the Book of Genesis, these were the first words God spoke to create heaven and earth.
I set my bike down and dropped to my knees in the grass, overcome by the urge to deliver a prayer. My face and hands bowed down to touch the ground in a rhythmic repetition, ten times, all the while slowly singing:
I2 . . . am in holy service . . . to THOU
and
THOU . . . are in holy service . . . to I2
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So yes, during the years I have been a horoscope columnist, I have also been a love advisor.
On regular occasions, I have offered ideas about how my readers might craft their amorous quests and cherished relationships with exquisite intelligence and inspiration.
Even when my oracles are not specifically designed to ballyhoo the causes of synergy and symbiosis, they are always rooted in affection and empathy and compassion. Through the decades, I have regularly renewed my vows to the numinous, luminous I2 <–> THOU.
Some of my readers are curious about my process. Here’s a partial response.
I use a house system, wherein each sign is paired with one of the 12 houses according to the location of the sun. For instance, the last week of August and first three weeks of September are the solar month of Virgo, and they constitute the fourth-house period for Gemini.
During the fourth house phase of anyone’s cycle, childhood patterns may come up for review. It’s a propitious period to meditate on how our original family relationships may still be coloring our current relationships. We might generate good fortune for ourselves if we purge our current domestic situation of bad old habits and recreate it in accordance with our highest values.
Do our roots need attention? Could our foundation benefit from fixing or bolstering? What’s our dynamic with the fuels we rely on for maximum functioning? These are useful fourth-house questions.
In the charts I draw up, I also note what houses the moon and major aspects are affecting. When Luna is in the sign of Cancer and passing through Gemini’s second house during the astrological month of Virgo, I might tell Twins to deepen and refine their emotional intelligence as they focus on revising and refining their financial strategies—especially as they affect matters of home and family and foundations and roots.
That’s the framework, but I’m not chained to it. I never want to get too attached to a system, since that would numb my antennae and shut out information. My main discipline while working on the column is to cultivate receptivity.
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Here's another element, the obvious secret: If I seem prolific, it's because I don't have to rely solely on my own powers. The whole world offers me its generative energies, and I accept its generous gift.
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Where to buy my book ASTROLOGY IS REAL:
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Memes by Guante, aka Kyle Tran Myhre
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Free Will Astrology
For the Week of August 29
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When an infant giraffe leaves its mother’s womb, it falls six feet to the ground. I suspect that when you are reborn sometime soon, Virgo, a milder and more genial jolt will occur. It may even be quite rousing and inspirational—not rudely bumpy at all. By the way, the plunge of the baby giraffe snaps its umbilical cord and stimulates the creature to take its initial breaths—getting it ready to begin its life journey. I suspect your genial jolt will bring comparable benefits.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many people living in the Napo province of Ecuador enjoy eating a dish called ukuy, which is a Kichwa word for large ants. This is not an exotic meal for them. They may cook the ukuy or simply eat the creatures alive. If you travel to Napo anytime soon, Libra, I urge you to sample the ukuy. According to my reading of the astrological omens, such an experiment is in alignment with the kinds of experiences you Libras should be seeking: outside your usual habits, beyond your typical expectations, and in amused rebellion against your customary way of doing things.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The theory of karma suggests that all our actions, good and bad and in-between, send ripples out into the world. These ripples eventually circle back to us, ensuring we experience events that mirror our original actions. If we lie and cheat, we will be lied to and cheated on. If we give generously and speak kindly about other people, we will be the recipient of generosity and kind words. I bring this up, Scorpio, because I believe you will soon harvest a slew of good karma that you have set in motion through your generosity and kindness. It may sometimes seem as if you're getting more benevolence than you deserve, but in my estimation, it's all well-earned.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I encourage you to buy yourself fun presents that give you a feisty boost. Why? Because I want you to bring an innovative, starting-fresh spirit into the ripening projects you are working on. Your attitude and approach could become too serious unless you infuse them with the spunky energy of an excitable kid. Gift suggestions: new music that makes you feel wild; new jewelry or clothes that make you feel daring; new tools that raise your confidence; and new information that stirs your creativity.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): On a Tuesday in August in 2012—one full Jupiter cycle ago—a Capricorn friend of mine called in sick to his job as a marketing specialist. He never returned. Instead, after enjoying a week off to relax, he began working to become a dance instructor. After six months, he was teaching novice students. Three years later, he was proficient enough to teach advanced students, and five years later, he was an expert. I am not advising you, Capricorn, to quit your job and launch your own quixotic quest for supremely gratifying work. But if you were ever going to start taking small steps towards that goal, now would be a good time. It’s also a favorable phase to improve the way your current job works for you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Three years ago, an Indonesian man celebrated his marriage to a rice cooker, which is a kitchen accessory. Khoirul Anam wore his finest clothes while his new spouse donned a white veil. In photos posted on social media, the happy couple are shown hugging and kissing. Now might also be a favorable time for you to wed your fortunes more closely with a valuable resource—though there’s no need to perform literal nuptials. What material thing helps bring out the best in you? If there is no such thing, now would be a good time to get it.
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Image by Bonnie Jamath
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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For many years, I didn't earn enough money to pay taxes. I was indigent. Fortunately, social programs provided me with food and some medical care. In recent years, though, I have had a better cash flow. I regularly send the US government a share of my income. I wish they would spend all my tax contributions to help people in need. Alas, just 42 percent of my taxes pay for acts of kindness to my fellow humans, while 24 percent goes to funding the biggest military machine on earth. Maybe someday, there will be an option to allocate my tax donations exactly as I want. In this spirit, Pisces, I invite you to take inventory of the gifts and blessings you dole out. Now is a good time to correct any dubious priorities. Take steps to ensure that your generosity is going where it's most needed and appreciated. What kind of giving makes you feel best?
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Although there are over 7,000 varieties of apples, your grocery store probably offers no more than 15. But you shouldn’t feel deprived. Having 15 alternatives is magnificent. In fact, most of us do better in dealing with a modicum of choices rather than an extravagant abundance. This is true not just about apples but also about most things. I mention this, Aries, because now is an excellent time to pare down your options in regard to all your resources and influences. You will function best if you're not overwhelmed with possibilities. You will thrive as you experiment with the principle that less is more.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus comedian Jerry Seinfeld, now 70 years old, has testified, “As a child, the only clear thought I had was ‘get candy.’” I encourage you to be equally single-minded in the near future, Taurus. Not necessarily about candy—but about goodies that appeal to your inner child as well as your inner teenager and inner adult. You are authorized by cosmic forces to go in quest of experiences that tickle your bliss.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m not saying I would refuse to hire a Gemini person to housesit while I’m on vacation. You folks probably wouldn’t let my houseplants die, allow raccoons to sneak in and steal food, or leave piles of unwashed dishes in the sink. On the other hand, I’m not entirely confident you would take impeccable care of my home in every little way. But wait! Everything I just said does *not* apply to you now. My analysis of the omens suggests you will have a high aptitude for the domestic arts in the coming weeks. You will be more likely than usual to take good care of my home—and your own home, too. It’s a good time to redecorate and freshen up the vibe.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): These days, you are even smarter and more perceptive than usual. The deep intelligence of your higher self is pouring into your conscious awareness with extra intensity. That's a good thing, right? Yes, mostly. But there may be a downside: You could be hyper-aware of people whose thinking is mediocre and whose discernment is substandard. That could be frustrating, though it also puts you in a good position to correct mistakes those people make. As you wield the healing power of your wisdom, heed these words from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Misunderstandings and lethargy produce more wrong in the world than deceit and malice do.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had an older sister, born under the sign of Leo. Her nickname was Nannerl. During their childhoods, she was as much a musical prodigy as he. Supervised by their father, they toured Europe performing together, playing harpsichord and piano. Nannerl periodically got top billing, and some critics regarded her as the superior talent. But misfortune struck when her parents decided it was unseemly for her, as a female, to continue her development as a genius. She was forcibly retired so she could learn the arts of housekeeping and prepare for marriage and children. Your assignment in the coming months, Leo, is to rebel against any influence that tempts you to tamp down your gifts and specialties. Assert your sovereignty. Identify what you do best, and do it more and better than you ever have before.
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Greetings Rob, I just finished soaking up your current newsletter, and I just felt the loving urge to tell you that you are one of my favourite writers... & thinkers/Hearters... and you have inspired me for at least 3 decades now... Respect Brother. Bobsy ( ina Hong Kong )
I just got my copy of "Astrology is Real" I've been using it like an oracle, I pick it up each day and open it to a new page. Thank you for all you do, I love the new book.