Feeling Good and Having Fun Can Be Spiritual Activities
Feeling Good and Having Fun Can Be Spiritual Activities
You have the power to bless people and animals with your joy
Jubilant Pronoia Therapy
Experiments and exercises in becoming a sublimely kind, wildly intelligent, gracefully imaginative Master of lucid affection
1. Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow.
"I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."
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2. Would you like to make yourself more magnetic to blessings? You could experiment with good luck charms or magic amulets—objects that you imagine might attract benevolence into your life.
How about a replica of Brísingamen, the magical necklace of the Norse goddess Freya? When she wore it, neither man nor god could resist her allure.
Or maybe a copy of the thyrsus, a wand wielded by Dionysus, the god of ecstasy? Or the bracelet of meteorite chunks I saw advertised as a luck-bringer in the back of a tabloid?
As fun as things like these might be, I believe there's a superior approach to the art of charging up your mojo. It's embodied by the metaphorical talisman that Tom Waits recommends in his song "Get Behind the Mule": Always keep a diamond in your mind.
Go get one of those diamonds.
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3. "The really important kind of freedom," said David Foster Wallace, "involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day."
Is that an interesting kind of freedom to you? Can you imagine any scenario in which practicing it would crack you open and pour you into an ecstatic state?
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4. Alice finds her way to Wonderland by falling down a rabbit hole. Dorothy rides to Oz on a tornado. In C. S. Lewis's The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Lucy stumbles into the magical land of Narnia via a portal in the back of a large clothes cabinet.
In the sequels to all these adventures, however, the heroines must find different ways to access their exotic dreamlands. Alice slips through a mirror next time. Dorothy uses a Magic Belt. Lucy leaps into a painting of a schooner that becomes real.
Take heed of these precedents. The next time a threshold opens into an alternative reality you've enjoyed in the past, it may not resemble the doorways you've used before.
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5. Here's Caroline Myss' explanation of faith: "Faith is the power to stand up to the madness and chaos of the physical world while holding the position that nothing external has any authority over what heaven has in mind for you."
If you don't like the word "heaven" in Myss' statement, substitute a term that works for you, like "your higher self" or "your destiny" or "your soul's code."
Modify anything else in it that's not right for your needs, as well. When you're finished tinkering, I hope you'll have created a definition of faith that motivates you with as much primal power as you feel when you're in love.
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6. Is the universe inherently friendly to humans? The answer's got to be either "yes, definitely" or "no, not really." It can't be in between. Whatever you may be inclined to believe, you've got to agree that there's no way to know which is true with absolute certainty.
So then isn't it stupid and self-destructive to live your life as if the universe is unfriendly? Doing so tends to cast a pall over everything. But if on the other hand you proceed on the hypothesis that the universe is friendly, you're inclined to interpret everything that occurs as a gift, however challenging it may be to figure out its purpose at first.
For three weeks, try living your life as if the latter theory were true.
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7. I've written astrological oracles for much of my adult life. An early prototype of my work hatched in my previous incarnation as an 11th-century monastic scribe who made illuminated manuscripts. During my off-hours, I dabbled with planetary divination and created a parchment newsletter that got passed around the monastery.
In a later lifetime as a 16th-century Florentine alchemist, I further refined the form. The invention of the printing press meant my oracles could be seen by a larger audience, and as a result I got more feedback, which in turn helped me improve my service. The horoscopes I create today, then, have been in the making for a thousand years.
What about you? Is there anything you've been working on for many centuries? If your memory of your previous incarnations is fuzzy, make up a good story.
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8. The outsourcing of fortune-telling is well underway. Psychics and astrologers from India have been showering me with email invitations to take advantage of their services.
"By the grace of the oceanic flames of goodness that by night simmer the roof of our temple and by day water the roots of our foolish wisdom," said one I query especially liked, "we have pledged to slave away our many reincarnations to cause the happy encroachment of bubbling karma on your masterful head. We will coax and guide the effects of various planets, comets, satellites, and dolmens, guaranteeing their flavor to fall on the living accidents of your love so as to ease your slippery upheaval to health."
In the course of your ecstatically pronoiac career, you will probably get puzzling offers of help like this. You may even be given gifts you can barely make sense of and blessings that are unlike anything you imagined you needed.
What might you do to receive them in the spirit in which they're offered? Here's one possibility: Cultivate living accidents of love so as to ease your slippery upheaval to health.
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9. Computer programmer Garry Hamilton articulated the following "Game Rules." Give examples of how they have worked in your life.
1. If the game is rigged so you can't win, find another game or invent your own.
2. If you're not winning because you don't know the rules, learn the rules.
3. If you know the rules but aren't willing to follow them, there's either something wrong with the game or you need to change something in yourself.
4. Don't play the game in a half-baked way. Either get all the way in or all the way out.
5. It shouldn't be necessary for others to lose in order for you to win. If others have to lose, re-evaluate the game's goals.
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10. Think about your relationship to human beings who haven't been born yet. What might you create for them to use? How can you make your life a gift to the future? Can you not only help preserve the wonders we live amidst, but actually enhance them?
Keep in mind this thought from Lewis Carroll: "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward."
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11. The Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi led many peaceful rebellions against oppressive governments, first in South Africa and later in British-controlled India.
At first he called his strategy "passive resistance," but later disavowed that term because it had negative implications.
He ultimately chose the Sanskrit word satyagraha, meaning "love force" or "truth force." "Truth (satya) implies love," he said, "and firmness (agraha) is a synonym for force. Satyagraha is thus the force which is born of truth and love."
Give an example of how you have employed satyagraha in the past, and another example of how you might invoke it in the future.
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12. "When you die," says the Koran, "God will call upon you to account for all the permitted pleasures you did not enjoy while on earth."
The Talmud offers a similar idea: "A person will be called upon to account, on Judgment Day, for all the permitted pleasures he might have enjoyed but did not."
Are there any such pleasures in your life?
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13. The modern English word "weird" is derived from the Old English term wyrd, meaning "destiny." By the late Middle Ages, wyrd had evolved into a concept similar to the Eastern notion of karma.
It implied that the momentum of past events plays a strong role in shaping the future, but that human willpower can nevertheless also have a hand in creating upcoming events.
In some uses, wyrd could even mean "the power to control destiny," as exemplified by the three Weird Sisters of Shakespeare's MacBeth.
Speculate about how the consequences of your past are impinging on your present situation. But also fantasize about how you might possess the ability to override them through the force of your intentions.
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YOUR BEAUTIFUL LOVE BODY
Jason Hine reminds us: "Every part of your body is adorable and incredible, an actual love body. A thousand tiny deities the size of molecules are worshipping and protecting each tiny particle of your body.
"There is a religion in another world that worships your stomach, your lungs, the curve of your thigh or your pectoral muscles as sacraments of a god or goddess.
"Your lovebody is a luxuriant forest at sunset in which light coruscates through dewdrops and deliciously awakens a thousand joyful wild creatures."
—Jason Hine
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PS: Jason Hine is a wonderful writer. Read more of his stuff here: https://www.facebook.com/jason.hine1
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MY DAUGHTER ZOE AND I ON A PODCAST
For the first time, my daughter Zoe Brezsny and I both appear on the same podcast. The show is Plaster Cramp an experimental archive of readings, descriptions, sounds, & other aural ephemera for the vision and reading impaired, created by Maliea Croy.
In this show, I do my spoken-word piece "Re-Genius Yourself," and Zoe does two pieces: “Light Beams for the Sky of a Transfer Corridor” and “See You in the Next World.”
Listen here: https://tinyurl.com/yy87quer
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PERCEPTION IS A GAMBLE
Robert Anton Wilson WROTE: "Philosopher Edmond Husserl said that 'all perception is a gamble.' Every type of bigotry, every type of racism, sexism, prejudice, every dogmatic ideology that allows people to kill other people with a clear conscience, every stupid cult, every superstition-ridden religion, every kind of ignorance in the world are all results from not realizing that our perceptions are gambles.
"We believe what we see and then we believe our interpretation of it and we don’t even know we’re making an interpretation most of the time. We think this is reality.
"In philosophy, that’s called naive realism: 'what I perceive is reality.'
"Philosophers have refuted naive realism every century for the last 2500 years, starting with Buddha and Plato. And yet most people still act on the basis of naive realism."
—Robert Anton Wilson
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Ukraine Inspires Us With Humanity and Hope: 8 Positive Stories From the Conflict. https://tinyurl.com/35y2s4vb
Philanthropist MacKenzie Scott has donated a record $275 million to Planned Parenthood. So far, she has given $12 Billion to 1,257 Groups. More info on the money she has given: https://tinyurl.com/54wpwz5p
New Plant-Derived Sustainable ‘Plastic’ is Tough as Bone and Hard as Aluminum. https://tinyurl.com/yckhkfdf
Road in London Closes for Nearly a Month to Protect Migrating Toads as They Hop to the Other Side. https://tinyurl.com/5b7msj6t
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For a lot more pronoiac resources and ideas, read my book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
Available at Bookshop.org: https://tinyurl.com/548hp8y8
Available at Powells: https://bit.ly/PowellsPronoia
Available at Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaBN
Available at Amazon: https://bit.ly/Pronoia
A free preview of the book is available here: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaPreview
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Please tell me your own nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES: Truthrooster@gmail.com.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 31
Copyright 2022 by Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1904, it wasn't illegal to use performance-enhancing drugs during Olympic competitions. Runner Thomas Hicks took advantage of this in the marathon race. The poison strychnine, which in small doses serves as a stimulant, was one of his boosters. Another was brandy. By the time he approached the finish line, he was hallucinating and stumbling. His trainers carried him the rest of the way, and he was declared the winner. I recommend you make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. How might you cheat to gain a great victory? APRIL FOOL! I Lied. While it's true that a meaningful triumph is within your reach, you're most likely to achieve it by acting with total integrity, following the rules, and imbibing no stimulating poisons.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Science fiction aficionado Wil Wheaton suggests that all of us should have the following: 1. a nemesis; 2. an evil twin; 3. a secret headquarters; 4. an escape hatch; 5. a partner in crime; 6. a secret identity. Dear Taurus, I have doubts that you possess any of these necessities. Please embark on intensive efforts to acquire all of them. Your deadline is April 21. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. There's no way you could add all those things to your repertoire in such a short time. See if you can at least get a secret identity and a partner in crime. It’s time to have wicked fun as you add to your potency and effectiveness.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "I hate being on my best behavior," wrote Gemini author Colleen McCullough. "It brings out the absolute worst in me." In the coming weeks, I hope you avoid the danger she describes. Don't be on your best behavior! Emulate Gemini filmmaker Clint Eastwood, who said, "I tried being reasonable, but I didn't like it." APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here's the real truth: Being kind and generous and reasonable will be your secret weapon in the next three weeks. Doing so will empower you to make interesting and unforeseen progress.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A Tumblr blogger named Alyssa complains, "I'm still peeved that I can't fly or set things on fire with my mind." You might share that feeling, Cancerian. But here's the good news: I predict that you could soon acquire, at least temporarily, the power to fly and set things on fire with your mind. Use these talents wisely, please! APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you probably won't be able to fly or set things on fire with your mind anytime soon. However, you may acquire other superpowers that are only slightly less fantastic. For example, you could change the mind of an ally who has been ridiculously stubborn. You could uncover a big secret that has been hidden. You could mend a wound you thought would never heal. Any other superpowers you need right now?
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I suspect that only a Leo would say what Leo filmmaker Stanley Kubrick once asserted: "You know, it's not absolutely true in every case that nobody likes a smart ass." In accordance with astrological omens, I authorize you to prove his assertion. Be the kind of smart ass that people like. APRIL FOOL! I'm half-joking. The truth is, I hope you will be the kind of smart ass that people absolutely adore and get inspired by.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In honor of your arrival in the most lyrical and soulful phase of your cycle, I offer you advice from poet Richard Jackson: "The secret is to paint your own numbers on the clock, to brush away those webs that cover the wild country of the soul, to let your star hover between the flowers of the moon and the flowers of the sun, like words you have never spoken yet always hear." APRIL FOOL! I partially lied. I don't think you should paint your own numbers on the clock. But the rest of what Jackson said is totally applicable and useful for you.
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YOU NEED MAGIC EVERY DAY
Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less facts. The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.
Every day, you're over-exposed to cynical narratives that have been sucked free of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make such strenuous efforts to keep your world enchanted.
I like to think I can contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense of wonder and enchantment. In fact, that's one of my prime motivations for offering you the free weekly horoscopes you read in this newsletter.
If you ever want more of that good stuff, and think it's worth paying for, please consider trying out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to https://RealAstrology.com
Register and/or log in through the main page.
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The cost is $6 per sign online. (Discounts are available for bulk purchases.)
You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888. The cost is $1.99 per minute. Each forecast is 4-5 minutes long.
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"Your expanded horoscopes get more personal and intimate with me than some of my closest friends. Thanks for the loving reflections."
—Ari Schlectman., Ann Arbor, MI
"When I listen to your audio 'scopes, my free will lights up."
—Alex Denares, Los Angeles
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "I want excitement," declared Libra novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald, "and I don't care what form it takes or what I pay for it, so long as it makes my heart beat." In the coming weeks, I hope you will make that statement your motto. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. While I do foresee you being able to gather a wealth of excitement, I hope you won't be as extreme as Fitzgerald in your pursuit of it. There will be plenty of opportunities for excitement that won't require you to risk loss or pay an unwelcome price.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have a right to make fun of others," said comedian Joan Rivers. I agree! So if you are feeling an irresistible urge to mock people and fling sarcasm in all directions, please prepare by first mocking yourself and being sarcastic toward yourself. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I will never authorize you to make fun of others. Never! In the coming weeks, I hope you'll do the opposite: Dole out massive doses of praise and appreciation toward everyone. To prepare, dole out massive doses of praise and appreciation toward yourself.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the traditional opera performed in China's Sichuan province, magical effects were popular. One trick involved characters making rapid changes of their masks. The art was to remove an existing mask and don a new one with such speed that the audience could not detect it. An old master, Peng Denghuai, once wore 14 different masks in 24 seconds. This is an antic I think you should imitate in the coming days. The more frequently you alter your persona and appearance, the more successful and popular you'll be. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. I recommend that you gleefully experiment with your image and exuberantly vary your self-presentation. But don't overdo it.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A nutritionist named Mark Haub decided to try losing weight by eating only sugary treats. For 10 weeks, he snacked on junk food cakes, cookies, and sweet cereals. By the end, he had lost 27 pounds. In accordance with astrological omens, I suggest you try the metaphorical equivalents of this project. For instance, work on deepening your relationships by engaging your allies in shallow conversations about trivial subjects. Or see if you can enhance your physical fitness by confining your exercise to crossing and uncrossing your legs as you sit on the couch watching TV. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here's your real horoscope: For the next four weeks, take better care of your body and your relationships than you ever have before in your life. Make it a point to educate yourself about what that would entail, and be devoted in providing the most profound nurturing you can imagine.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarius-born Giordano Bruno (1548–1600) was bravely heretical in his work as a philosopher, poet, mathematician, and friar. He angered the Catholic Church with his unorthodox views about Jesus and Mary, as well as his belief in reincarnation, his practice of occult magic, and his views that there are other stars besides our sun. Eventually, the authorities burned him at the stake for his transgressive ideas. Beware of a similar outcome for expressing your unusual qualities! APRIL FOOL! Luckily, no punishment will result if you express the rich fullness of your idiosyncrasies in the coming weeks. I'm happy about that, since I'm encouraging you to be as eccentrically yourself as you want to be.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Life is too complicated to accurately comprehend. There's too much to know! It's impossible to make truly savvy and rational decisions. Maybe the best strategy is to flip a coin or throw the dice or draw a Tarot card before doing anything. APRIL FOOL! While it's a fact that life is too complex for our conscious minds to fully master, we have massive resources available on subconscious and superconscious levels: our deep soul and our higher self. Now is an excellent time to enhance your access to these mother lodes of intelligence.
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Homework: What's the most compassionate prank you could perform? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com
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Submissions sent to Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length, style, and content.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2022 Rob Brezsny
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I know this is true from personal experience. So many of my greatest spiritual blessings came when I was in a very playful and childlike attitude. So very true!
'struth!