My New Book Is Ready

Happy Book Birthday!

Sep 26, 2023

It’s ready: ASTROLOGY IS REAL: REVELATIONS FROM MY LIFE AS A HOROSCOPE COLUMNIST

Many of my readers have been perplexed by the fact that I have never written an astrology book. “What’s taking you so long?” they want to know.

Indeed! My syndicated horoscope column "Free Will Astrology" has appeared for years in hundreds of publications in North America, as well as in translation in Italy, France, Japan, and the Netherlands.

That first astrology book is finally here, for sale as of NOW: ASTROLOGY IS REAL: REVELATIONS FROM MY LIFE AS A HOROSCOPE COLUMNIST.

It's a blend of a memoir, oracles for readers, and essays about the art of astrology and mythopoetic intelligence. The eclectic tone ranges from pop to literary; from lyrical to philosophical; from searing critiques of hyper-rational, machine-style thinking to a celebration of the scientific method and soulful thinking.

And it’s all undergirded by my essential passion: the I <–> THOU relationship he cultivates with his readers. The book extols the gifts and education I have received through their generous responses to his work.

ASTROLOGY IS REAL is a book you don’t necessarily have to read sequentially straight through from beginning to end. You can start anywhere in the book and read here and there, trusting your intuition to find exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

There are EXCERPTS below.

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Introduction

Is astrology real? Of course! Yes! Astrology is very real—although not in the same sense that the orange vermillion steel towers of the Golden Gate Bridge are real, or the lavender soap you used for your last shower, or the great horned owl you saw roosting in a juniper tree.

Astrology is real in the way that an Emily Dickinson poem is real, and psychology’s theory of the unconscious mind, and the dream of your dead ancestor you had last night, and the myths of Gilgamesh and Inanna, and the story Toni Morrison told in her novel Beloved.

Is astrology true? Of course! Though it’s not true in the same sense that the binomial theorem is true. Not true like the speed of light is 186,282.39 miles per second or like every molecule of water is composed of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. Astrology is not true in the same way as the fact that 55 big American corporations pay no federal taxes.

But astrology is intensely and intimately true in a trillion other ways. It’s as true as the epiphany you had when you realized you wanted to move to a new location or get married to a person you loved.

Astrology is true like the mix of delight and melancholy that seeps into you as summer turns to autumn. True in the same way that you feel cheerful and frisky when the first spring leaves appear on oak and elm and maple trees. As true as the fact that you are sleepier in the depths of winter than at other times of the year.

Astrology is very much true, deeply and gloriously true, in the sense that Patti Smith is true as she sings her song “Radio Ethiopia.” True like the inspiration Georgia O’Keeffe tapped into as she painted Flowers of Fire. True like the wrathful hope that motivated Martin Luther King Jr. to write his “I Have a Dream” speech. True like the Indigenous Anishinaabe trickster spirit Nanabozho, an unruly, gender-changing hero whose job it is to learn the names of all creatures.

Astrology is as real and as true as your imagination. As real and as true as the story you tell yourself about your life. As real and as true as your never-ending cavalcade of yearnings.

Origin Story

Every week, I write 12 horoscopes for readers who find my offerings in newspapers and on the internet. That has been my main gig for most of my adult life. I love it! The task of creating crisp new oracles always renews me.

I enjoy doing other jobs, too: musician, singer, poet, monologist, philosopher, political pundit, and author of books.

If you and I were sitting across a table from each other in a cafe, and you asked me, “What consistently incites your lust for life and joie de vivre?”, I’d say, “Making stuff.” I’d tell you I was born to be a begetter, a composer, a generator.

Creative zeal infuses everything I do. I regard every moment, whether it’s conversing with the clerk at the 7-Eleven or riding my mountain bike up a steep dirt path or meditating in my sanctuary adjoining a wetland, as a novel opportunity to add to the playful work of art that encompasses all the rest: the performance art ritual that is my life.

Many of the people who know me don’t care about any of that, though. There’s one thing I do that defines my identity in their eyes: the internationally syndicated astrology column I have written for years.

Since the mid-1990s, my weekly collection of 12 oracles, “Free Will Astrology,” has appeared in over 100 newspapers, including translated versions in France, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Venezuela, and Finland. “Real Astrology” was the name of the column for over a decade before I crossed the threshold into fame.

The combined readerships of all the publications carrying my divinations are over seven million. Hundreds of thousands of additional viewers come to my website weekly and subscribe to my newsletter.

But I’m aware of the modesty of my accomplishment. Of all the literary genres in the world, the astrology column gets the least respect. Reputable critics don’t even bother to revile it because they’re too busy ignoring it. Romance novels may rival its disrepute, but in that field, there are professional organizations that confer prestige and award prizes to the top practitioners.

Both scientists and religious fundamentalists regard the astrology column as an abomination that deserves to be consigned to a fiery abyss. That’s understandable. But what’s unexpected is that many professional astrologers think the same. They dismiss “sun sign” horoscopes like mine as debasements of their ancient art—and not “real” astrology.

In light of these facts, you may be amused and wondrous to hear me say that I feel “Free Will Astrology” expresses the best of me. It’s an excellent use of my talents and intelligence.

I’m proud of my vigorous writing and interesting ideas. I’m pleased I don’t dribble out banal pellets of generic and cliché-ridden advice like “This could be the moment to ask for a raise at work” or “Romance is in the offing if you play your cards right.”

Trained as a poet as well as an astrologer, I treat every horoscope as an opportunity to craft a pithy oracular burst or a comic lyrical riff or an epigram packed with quirky wisdom. My single most driving aspiration is to deliver soul food to my readers’ imaginations.

I would rather work as a bagger at a grocery store than whip up their narcissism, aggravate their fears, or encourage their superstition.

Is there anyone alive who is not one of my potential teachers and muses? Wherever I go and whatever I do, even in my dreams, I am alert for seeds that might sprout into oracles I can offer to my beloved readers.

If it’s possible to tell a good story in 150 words or less, I will. If I can apply the perennial themes in myths and fairy tales to the issues affecting people here and now, I’ll seize the chance.

I enjoy exposing the corruption of American foreign policy and referencing iconoclasts like psychologist James Hillman and citing fantastic but verifiable facts like this one: It takes a river a million years to move a grain of sand one mile.

Writers like Octavio Paz, bell hooks, Emily Dickinson, and Rainer Maria Rilke make frequent appearances in my work, as do data culled from Scientific American and National Geographic.

On the other hand, I also exult in drawing lessons from less polished sources, like the tabloid report on the homesick New York supermodel who claimed she got jetlagged from making regular out-of-body jaunts to her native Siberia. On one occasion, I derived a metaphorical lesson from the Weekly World News report that Hell has a special pain-free section for masochists.

Nothing can stop me from calling on anything that has ever happened! It was so much fun to whip up an oracle citing Steve Jobs’s scandalous statement that “doing LSD was one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life.” I loved quoting painter Diego Rivera’s testimony that he didn’t believe in God, but he believed in Picasso.

Has any other astrologer in the history of reality critiqued the faulty idiom of “low man on the totem pole”? It wrongly refers to a person who has the worst job or the least status. But here are the facts, ma’am, which I reported in a horoscope in 2013: The creators of the original totem poles were Indigenous Native American tribes of the Pacific Northwest, and for them the figure at the bottom of the pole was the most important one.

In 2012, I composed a horoscope based on iconic novelist James Joyce’s meetings with iconic psychologist Carl Jung. Joyce was worried about his daughter and asked Jung to analyze her. After a few sessions, Jung told her father she had a mental health challenge. A telltale sign was her obsessive tendency to make puns, many of which were quite clever. Joyce reported that he, too, enjoyed the art of punning. “You are a deep-sea diver,” Jung replied. “She is drowning.”

My oracles are popular in part because they appeal to people who would normally be embarrassed to read such a thing. “‘Free Will Astrology’ is to other horoscope columns what James Joyce is to Danielle Steele,” declared a reviewer in the Sacramento News & Review. “This well-crafted compendium of poetry, anecdotes, aphorisms, and wit is a literate ‘love letter’ that has no precedents in the media.”

Here’s what The New York Times said: “Brezsny’s horoscopes are like Valentines, buoyant and spilling over with mischievousness. They’re a soul prognosis.”

A psychotherapist once told me that in his experience, only 5 percent of the population is conversant with metaphorical thinking. In my horoscopes, I take the risk of alienating the other 95 percent as I freely indulge in metaphors, allegories, parables, and metonymies.

That still leaves me with a potential audience of 50 million English speakers all over the world, and another 5 million Italians, 2 million French, 1 million Dutch, and 1 million Japanese.

Here’s a sample horoscope I once wrote for Aries:

“The ancient Greek god Dionysus did not, in fact, encourage people to get sloppy drunk, lose control, and commit stupid mayhem. His preference was that they free themselves from their inhibitions by imbibing moderate amounts of alcohol. With this medicinal spur, they might get unstuck from their worn-out behavior patterns and invite refreshing doses of wildness into their lives. Healing was the intention, not craziness and frenzy.

“It is true that if someone was not willing to escape their rigidity—if they clung to their hidebound attitudes and refused to open up to the call of self-transformation—Dionysus might lure them into reckless inebriation. I have a strong suspicion that you would benefit from meditating on these themes right now.”

CONTINUED BELOW THE PHOTO

As the writer of a horoscope column that rebels against horoscope columns, I don’t predict the future. If anything, I predict the present. My entire practice—free will astrology—is based on the hypothesis that your destiny is not set in stone, is not held hostage by planetary fiat.

Rather, the future is at least partly subject, in mysterious ways, to the influences of your discerning analysis and disciplined imagination and fired-up willpower. That’s especially true if you can uncover the unconscious patterns and hidden agendas that come to bear on you. It’s my joy and privilege to assist you in that noble work.

I aspire to be your guide and companion as you learn more and more about the art of liberation: liberation from suffering, from habit, from lazy thinking and bad ideas.

As I’ve developed this ethical esthetic over the years, my innate insurrectionary urges have ripened. From age 16, I have been a progressive activist who satirizes institutionalized hypocrisy, rails against the delusional insanity of conventional wisdom, and crusades against the haters who perpetrate idiotic injustices.

I still draw from that high-octane fuel, but I’ve expanded my targets. Now my dissidence is also directed toward educated fools who act as if cynicism is an inherent sign of high intelligence. I fight for the right to proclaim that life is good, that it’s a privilege to be a human being on this planet. I am a prophet of convulsive goodness, of reverent insurgency, of guerrilla splendor.

Not long ago, a person who has never liked me, a guy named Jonas who was a fellow student in my poetry classes at Duke University, wrote me an email in which he delivered what he imagined was the ultimate putdown.

“You worked for years perfecting your mountain-climbing skills,” he crowed, “and then you climbed to the top of a mountain so puny and insignificant that no one else has ever bothered to conquer it. So now you are in a position to gaze skyward and howl triumphantly, ‘I am the best climber ever of the puniest mountain in the world!’”

Though Jonas looks down on me, I don’t look down on myself. On the contrary. I’m pleased about the ways I have tweaked and twisted the genre of the horoscope column to serve my own tricky but noble ends.

Because it gets meager honor and is accorded feeble legitimacy, no one cares if I mess with its conventions. So I have done that. Because I have zero investment in impressing my fellow astrologers or being known as an astrology superstar, I’m free to play around like a subversive poet and maverick philosopher and renegade performance artist.

I’m excited to celebrate and stimulate the freedom and power of our single most important asset—the imagination.

That leads me to the main reason why I am thrilled by the role that life has given me to play: I love my readers. I’m always working to love them stronger and wilder.

And my astrology column is the best vehicle I can imagine for practicing that righteous art. Week after week, year after year, I serve up short oracular bursts in an intimate and empathetic voice that’s rooted in the tender, lyrical style of love letters.

Not every reader greets my oracles in the spirit in which they are offered. Some don’t want my love. They may even dislike me for advising them to engage in introspection or alter their behavior. They might heartily disagree with my assessment of their current mood and needs.

From them, I receive criticism or rejection or anger. They inform me how mistaken and foolish I am. Much of that feedback is valuable, though. It helps me learn about the effects my words have. It compels me to become smarter and more sensitive.

Most of the responses I get from readers match the tone with which I address them, however: kind, appreciative, helpful, and affectionate. Even that has the power to transform me, though. It’s full of perspectives I’ve never considered.

Day by day, week by week, year by year, my readers have taught me and ripened me. Some of their influence arrives telepathically, in my dreams and altered states. Some comes through their letters and emails and social media messages and public encounters.

Thanks to the gifts they’ve blessed me with, I have overcome and outwitted myself. I have become far more of a multi-faceted creation than I could ever have on my own.

‘ORIGIN STORY” WILL BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK . . . .

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Week of September 28

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you have ever contemplated launching a career as a spy, the coming months will be a favorable time to do so. Likewise if you have considered getting trained as a detective, investigative journalist, scientific researcher, or private eye. Your affinity for getting to the bottom of the truth will be at a peak, and so will your discerning curiosity. You will be able to dig up secrets no one else has discovered. You will have an extraordinary knack for homing in on the heart of every matter. Start now to make maximum use of your superpowers!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Have you been sensing a phantom itch that’s impossible to scratch? Are you feeling less like your real self lately and more like an AI version of yourself? Has your heart been experiencing a prickly tickle? If so, I advise you not to worry. These phenomena have a different meaning from the implications you may fear. I suspect they are signs you will soon undertake the equivalent of what snakes do: molting their skins to make way for a fresh layer. This is a good thing! Afterward, you will feel fresh and new.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to legend, fifth-century Pope Leo I convinced the conquering army of Attila the Hun to refrain from launching a full-scale invasion of Italy. There may have been other reasons in addition to Leo's persuasiveness. For example, some evidence suggests Attila's troops were superstitious because a previous marauder died soon after attacking Rome. But historians agree that Pope Leo was a potent leader whose words carried great authority. You, Sagittarius, won't need to be quite as fervently compelling as the ancient Pope in the coming weeks. But you will have an enhanced ability to influence and entice people. I hope you use your powers for good!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Singer-songwriter Joan Baez has the longevity and endurance typical of many Capricorns. Her last album in 2018 was released 59 years after her career began. An article in *The New Yorker* describes her style as “elegant and fierce, defiant and maternal.” It also noted that though she is mostly retired from music, she is “making poignant and unpredictable art,” creating weird, hilarious line drawings with her non-dominant hand. I propose we make Baez your inspirational role model. May she inspire you to be elegant and fierce, bold and compassionate, as you deepen and refine your excellence in the work you’ve been tenaciously plying for a long time. For extra credit, add some unexpected new flair to your game.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian author and activist Mary Frances Berry has won numerous awards for her service on behalf of racial justice. One accomplishment: She was instrumental in raising global awareness of South Africa's apartheid system, helping to end its gross injustice. "The time when you need to do something," she writes, "is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can’t be done." You are now in a phase when that motto will serve you well, Aquarius.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to spend quality time gazing into the darkness. I mean that literally and figuratively. Get started by turning off the lights at night and staring, with your eyes open, into the space in front of you. After a while, you may see flashes of light. While these might be your optical nerves trying to fill in the blanks, they could also be bright spirit messages arriving from out of the void. Something similar could happen on a metaphorical level, too. As you explore parts of your psyche and your life that are opaque and unknown, you will be visited by luminous revelations.

MAYBE JOY AND BLISS ARE CATALYTIC SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES

Assume that pleasure and happiness doesn't interfere with your spiritual growth, but may in fact stimulate it.

Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating delight and wonder might make you a more ethical and compassionate person.

Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day.

For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.

To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to https://RealAstrology.com

The cost is $7 per sign online. (Discounts are available for bulk purchases.)

"Your expanded horoscopes get more personal and intimate with me than some of my closest friends. Thanks for the loving reflections." —Ari Schlectman., Ann Arbor, MI

"When I listen to your audio 'scopes, my free will lights up." —Alex Denares., Los Angeles

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Author Diane Ackerman says it's inevitable that each of us sometimes "looks clumsy or gets dirty or asks stupid questions or reveals our ignorance or says the wrong thing.” Knowing how often I do those things, I'm *extremely* tolerant of everyone I meet. I’m compassionate, not judgmental, when I see people who "try too hard, are awkward, care for one another too deeply, or are too open to experience." I myself commit such acts, so I’d be foolish to criticize them in others. During the coming weeks, Aries, you will generate good fortune for yourself if you suspend all disparagement. Yes, be accepting, tolerant, and forgiving—but go even further. Be downright welcoming and amiable. Love the human comedy exactly as it is.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus comedian Kevin James confesses, "I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." Many of us could make a similar admission. The good news, Taurus, is that your anxieties in the coming weeks will be the "piece of seaweed" variety, not the great white shark. Go ahead and scream if you need to—hey, we all need to unleash a boisterous yelp or howl now and then—but then relax.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are famous people with whom I have had personal connections: actor Marisa Tomei, rockstar Courtney Love, filmmaker Miranda July, playwright David Mamet, actor William Macy, philosopher Robert Anton Wilson, rockstar Paul Kantor, rock impresario Bill Graham, and author Clare Cavanagh. What? You never heard of Clare Cavanagh? She is the brilliant and renowned translator of Nobel Prize Laureate poet Wisława Szymborska and the authorized biographer of Nobel Prize Laureate author Czesław Miłosz. As much as I appreciate the other celebrities I named, I am most enamored of Cavanagh’s work. As a Gemini, she expresses your sign’s highest potential: the ability to wield beautiful language to communicate soulful truths. I suggest you make her your inspirational role model for now. It’s time to dazzle and persuade and entertain and beguile with your words.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I cheer you on when you identify what you want. I exult when you devise smart plans to seek what you want, and I celebrate when you go off in high spirits to obtain and enjoy what you want. I am gleeful when you aggressively create the life you envision for yourself, and I do everything in my power to help you manifest it. But now and then, like now, I share Cancerian author Franz Kafka's perspective. He said this: "You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Let’s talk about changing your mind. In some quarters, that's seen as weak, even embarrassing. But I regard it as a noble necessity, and I recommend you consider it in the near future. Here are four guiding thoughts. 1. "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." —George Bernard Shaw. 2. "Only the strongest people have the pluck to change their minds, and say so, if they see they have been wrong in their ideas." —Enid Blyton. 3. "Sometimes, being true to yourself means changing your mind. Self changes, and you follow." —Vera Nazarian. 4. "The willingness to change one’s mind in the light of new evidence is a sign of rationality, not weakness." ―Stuart Sutherland.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "The soul moves in circles," psychologist James Hillman told us. "Hence our lives are not moving straight ahead; instead, hovering, wavering, returning, renewing, repeating." In recent months, Virgo, your soul's destiny has been intensely characterized by swerves and swoops. And I believe the rollicking motion will continue for many months. Is that bad or good? Mostly good—especially if you welcome its poetry and beauty. The more you learn to love the spiral dance, the more delightful the dance will be.