When We Discover Who We Are, We'll Be Free

Liberate Yourself Through Self-Knowledge

When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.

—Ralph Ellison

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You’re something between a dream and a miracle.

—Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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THE PRONOIA EBOOK

My most recent book is finally available as an eBook: Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

The eBook includes a new foreword and a new piece, “Strange Blessings,” that weren't in the Revised and Expanded edition.

(This eBook, like the Revised and Expanded edition, has 55% additional new material beyond what the first edition had.)

PRONOIA as an ebook at Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaEbook

PRONOIA as an ebook at Barnes and Noble: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaNook

If you have the Apple Books app, click on it and search for "Pronoia."

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You can also buy the hard-copy edition of PRONOIA: Available at Bookshop.org: https://tinyurl.com/548hp8y8

Available at Powells: https://bit.ly/PowellsPronoia

Available at Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaBN

Available at Amazon: https://bit.ly/Pronoia

A free preview of the book is available here: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaPreview

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Shapeshifting Pronoia Therapy

Experiments and exercises in becoming an aggressively sensitive, thunderously receptive, ethically mischievous Master of Mutant Intimacy

1. Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He thinks you can achieve optimal physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images.

In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn—to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a boy, she later became a woman, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy, even ecstatic, for you to lose? Describe the fun you'd have if you were free of them.

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2. I was never the class clown. I am not a troubled but devilishly handsome wastrel living on a trust fund.

I've never beaten up anyone, have steadfastly not aspired to write like Raymond Carver, and have never played strip Scrabble with a junkie violinist on a leaky waterbed in a Key West penthouse.

There are so many things I am not and will never be, and I'm glad I know about them. It helps me stay focused on exactly who I am.

What about you? Who aren't you? Fantasize about all the paths you will never take. Put it in writing.

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3. "Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.

How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.

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4. Writing on Salon.com, Scott Rosenberg recalled how in his youth he loved to play the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons.

"You'd have to choose not one but two 'alignments' for your character," he mused. "Good and evil, of course, but also 'law' and 'chaos.' And among the people I ran with, 'chaotic/good' was the thing to be, because it let you trust other people and still have fun."

Try out the "chaotic/good" approach for the character you play in your actual life.

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5. To create a pearl, an oyster needs an aggravating parasite inside its shell. It builds layers of calcium carbonate around the invader, gradually fabricating the treasure.

How long does it take from the initial provocation to the finished product? Five years for a pearl of average size, and as many as 10 years for a big one.

Our question for you: How many years have you been engaged in the process of transforming your irritant into a masterpiece? How many more years do you think you still have to go?

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6. Ariel was going through a hard time. She'd been weaning herself from a painkiller she'd taken while recovering from surgery. Her cat ran away, and there was a misunderstanding at work.

One night while at a nightclub with her friend Leila, she spied her ex-boyfriend kissing some woman. Meltdown ensued. Ariel fled the club and ran sobbing into the street, where she hurled her shoes on top of a passing bus.

Leila retrieved her and sat her down on a bench. "Because up until now you've displayed such exemplary grace in the face of chaos," Leila said, "I'm giving you a free Crazy Pass. It gives you a karma-free license to temporarily lose your mind."

This compassionate humor helped Ariel feel more composed. The rest of the night she partied with elegant savagery, achieving major relief and release without hurting ­herself.

Now I'm awarding you, too, a free Crazy Pass. How will you use it?

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7. Attention please. This is your ancestors speaking. We've been trying to reach you through your dreams and fantasies, but you haven't responded. That's why we've commandeered this space.

So listen up. We'll make it brief. You're at a crossroads analogous to a dilemma that has baffled your biological line for six generations.

We ask you now to master the turning point that none of us have ever figured out how to negotiate. Heal yourself and you heal all of us. We mean that literally. Start brainstorming, please.

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8. When playing the card game known as bridge, you're fortunate if you're dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks.

Identify a situation in your own life where a lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage, allowing you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card; freeing you to capitalize on loopholes that aren't normally available; giving you access to luck that comes to you through what you're missing.

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9. I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house.

Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.

Are there equivalent triggers in your life?

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10. Shirley Chisholm was the first black woman elected to Congress. While serving seven terms, she was an outspoken warrior who fought tirelessly for the rights of women, minorities, and the poor.

"My greatest political asset, which professional politicians fear," she said, "is my mouth, out of which comes all kinds of things one shouldn't always discuss for reasons of political expediency."

One of Chisholm's most famous exploits was her visit to segregationist politician George Wallace in the hospital after he was shot. Her supporters complained that she was consorting with the enemy.

But years later it paid off. Wallace helped her win the votes of southern congressmen when she sponsored legislation to give domestic workers a minimum wage.

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11. The Kumulipo is an old Hawaiian prayer chant that poetically describes the creation of the world.

The word literally means "beginning-in-deep-darkness." Here darkness doesn't connote gloom and evil.

Rather, it's about the inscrutability of the embryonic state; the obscure chaos that reigns before germination.

Talk about a time you dwelt in kumulipo.

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THE NECESSITY OF HIDING

David Whyte writes: "HIDING is a way of staying alive. Hiding is a way of holding ourselves until we are ready to come into the light.

"Even hiding the truth from ourselves can be a way to come to what we need in our own necessary time.

"Hiding is one of the brilliant and virtuoso practices of almost every part of the natural world: the protective quiet of an icy northern landscape, the held bud of a future summer rose, the snow bound internal pulse of the hibernating bear.

"Hiding is underestimated. We are hidden by life in our mother’s womb until we grow and ready ourselves for our first appearance in the lighted world; to appear too early in that world is to find ourselves with the immediate necessity for outside intensive care.

"Hiding done properly is the internal faithful promise for a proper future emergence, as embryos, as children or even as emerging adults in retreat from the names that have caught us and imprisoned us, often in ways where we have been too easily seen and too easily named.

"We live in a time of the dissected soul, the immediate disclosure; our thoughts, imaginings and longings exposed to the light too much, too early and too often, our best qualities squeezed too soon into a world already awash with too easily articulated ideas that oppress our sense of self and our sense of others.

"What is real is almost always to begin with, hidden, and does not want to be understood by the part of our mind that mistakenly thinks it knows what is happening. What is precious inside us does not care to be known by the mind in ways that diminish its presence.

"Hiding is an act of freedom from the misunderstanding of others, especially in the enclosing world of oppressive secret government and private entities, attempting to name us, to anticipate us, to leave us with no place to hide and grow in ways unmanaged by a creeping necessity for absolute naming, absolute tracking and absolute control.

"Hiding is a bid for independence, from others, from mistaken ideas we have about our selves, from an oppressive and mistaken wish to keep us completely safe, completely ministered to, and therefore completely managed.

"Hiding is creative, necessary and beautifully subversive of outside interference and control. Hiding leaves life to itself, to become more of itself. Hiding is the radical independence necessary for our emergence into the light of a proper human future."

—David Whyte

Excerpted from CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words

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WORKING ON BEING AN OASIS

I’ve noticed people everywhere just keep getting crabbier and grumpier as the months go by, quicker and stronger in their impulse to complain and deride.

I understand why—stress levels are astronomical—but I have resolved, as much as possible, to be an oasis of non-crabbiness and non-grumpiness.

I am not a perfect oasis, though—as you can see from this message, which expresses sadness about universal grumpiness.

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PS: I have personally been very nonstop happy since July 2020 because the creative energy has been flowing through me in such abundance, praise Goddess.

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Rebecca Solnit writes: "One thing I often think these days is that tons of people are having a visceral emotional response to the terrible pressures and fears of our time, but they're turning that into an intellectual analysis of why they need to believe this crazy shit or attack that vulnerable target.

"That way they believe they're having a rational response to something external rather than an emotional one to something internal, and this will go on indefinitely as long as the true source of that energy is not clear.

"I'm not sure how else to explain the large numbers of people who seem to have gotten on board with a lot of luridly weird and hostile stuff."

"Confusing emotions with analyses is such a pandemic unto itself."

Rebecca Solnit, who ALWAYS posts interesting stuff, is here: https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.solnit

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ZOE BREZSNY'S RECORDED POEMS

My daughter Zoe Brezsny performs two poems, "Timelapse Passionflower" and "Sunken Meadow Park II," on SALUTATIONS, a new album that features an amazing group of contemporary women musicians, writers. and artists.

The album is available digitally, on BandCamp, or on vinyl:

https://tinyurl.com/bdzksdnh

https://tinyurl.com/4pr5r6s3

https://tinyurl.com/y7u59uda

A portion of the proceeds will benefit ABO Comix, a collective that amplifies the voices of LGBTQ prisoners through art and correspondence, establishing penpalships and other initiatives between the free and incarcerated.

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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:

Three-Legged Dog Battling Cancer Rescues Baby Otter From St. Croix River: https://tinyurl.com/z728n2ms

Constructive Feedback Is Surprisingly Welcome. https://tinyurl.com/me3tvnwk

Research Suggests Mushrooms Talk to Each Other With a Vocabulary of 50 Words. https://tinyurl.com/m47cwujy

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Week beginning May 5

Copyright 2022 by Rob Brezsny

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Rapper and entrepreneur Jay-Z tells us, "Don't ever go with the flow. Instead, be the flow." Here's what I think he means: If we go with the flow, we adjust and accommodate ourselves to a force that is not necessarily aligned with our personal inclinations and needs. To go with the flow implies we are surrendering our autonomy. To claim our full sovereignty, on the other hand, we are wise to be the flow. We should create our own flow, which is just right for our unique inclinations and needs. I think this is the right approach for you right now, Taurus. Be the flow.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Italian language used to be a dialect spoken in Tuscany. That area comprises less than eight percent of the country's territory. How did such a dramatic evolution happen? Why did a local dialect supersede other dialects like Piedmontese, Neapolitan, Sicilian, and others? In part, it was because three potent 14th-century writers wrote in the Tuscan dialect: Dante Alighieri, Francesco Petrarch, and Giovanni Boccaccio. Another reason: Because Tuscany is centrally located in Italy, its dialect was less influenced by languages in France and other nearby countries. I offer this as a metaphor for you in the coming months. One of your personal talents, affiliations, or inclinations could become more influential and widespread—and have more authority in your life.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Always strive to be more interested than interesting," said actor and activist Jane Fonda. That may not be easy for you to accomplish in the near future, dear Cancerian. Your curiosity will be at peak levels, but you may also be extra compelling and captivating. So I'll amend Fonda's advice: Give yourself permission to be both as interested and as interesting as you can imagine. Entertain the world with your lively personality as you go in quest of new information, fresh perceptions, and unprecedented experiences.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "When in doubt, act like God," proclaimed Leo singer-songwriter Madonna. I wouldn't usually endorse that advice. But I'll make an exception for you Leos during the next three weeks. Due to a divine configuration of astrological omens, you are authorized to ascend to new heights of sovereignty and self-possession—even to the point of doing a vivid God impersonation. For best results, don't choose an angry, jealous, tyrannical deity to be your role model. Pattern yourself after a sweeter, funnier, more intimate type of celestial being.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My Virgo friend Amanda told me she felt tight and overwrought. She was overthinking and on the verge of a meltdown. With a rueful sigh, she added, "I adore anything that helps me decompress, unwind, simmer down, stop worrying, lighten up, compose myself, and mellow out." So I invited her to take deep breaths, close her eyes, and visualize herself immersed in blue-green light. Then I asked her to name influences she loved: people, animals, natural places, music, books, films, art, and physical movements that made her feel happy to be alive. She came up with eight different sources of bliss, and together we meditated on them. Half an hour later, she was as relaxed as she had been in months. I recommend you try a comparable exercise every day for the next 14 days. Be proactive about cultivating tranquil delight.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Author Anne Lamott is renowned for her tender approach to expressing her struggles with addiction, depression, and other tribulations. One of her supreme tests was being a single mother who raised her son Sam. In this effort, she was her usual plucky self. Anytime she hosted playdates with Sam's young friends at her home, she called on the help of crayons and paint and pens and clay and scissors. "When we did art with the kids, the demons would lie down," she testified. I recommend a comparable strategy for you in the coming days, Libra. You will have extra power as you tame, calm, or transform your demons. Making art could be effective, as well as any task that spurs your creativity and imagination.

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I LOVE YOU!

It has been a while since I told you that I love you. So I'm doing it now. I LOVE YOU.

And that's why I continue to offer these weekly horoscopes to you free of charge, with no strings attached. That's why I work so hard to be a playful therapist and an edgy mentor for you. That's why I am so tenacious in my efforts to serve you as a feminist father figure and a kindly devil's advocate and a sacred cheerleader.

Again, I don't expect anything in return from you. But if you would like to express your appreciation, you could do so by offering a similar type of well-crafted care to people in your own sphere.

There is also something you could do to support me -- and help yourself at the same time! -- and that is to buy my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES for you. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.

To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to https://RealAstrology.com

Register and/or log in through the main page.

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The cost is $6 per sign online. (Discounts are available for bulk purchases.)

You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888. The cost is $1.99 per minute. Each forecast is 4-5 minutes long.

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"I don't much believe in astrology. But that doesn't seem to get in the way of me deriving a whole lot of benefits from your expanded audio horoscopes."

—A. Arrosto, Indianapolis

"You have an amazing aptitude for cutting through the lies I tell myself. Thanks for the gentle shocks."

—T. Preneris, Toronto

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "My heart has developed a kind of amnesia, where it remembers everything but itself," writes Scorpio poet Sabrina Benaim. If you suffer a condition that resembles hers, it's about to change. According to my astrological analysis, your heart will soon not only remember everything; it will also remember itself. What a blissful homecoming that will be—although it may also be unruly and confounding, at least in the beginning. But after the initial surprise calms down, you will celebrate a dramatic enhancement of emotionally rich self-knowledge. You will feel united with the source of your longing to love and be loved.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Just because things hadn't gone the way I had planned didn't necessarily mean they had gone wrong," writes Sagittarian author Ann Patchett. Her thought may be helpful for you to meditate on. My guess is that you will ultimately be glad that things didn't go the way you planned. God or your Higher Self or the Mysterious Forces of Destiny will conspire to lead you away from limited expectations or not-big-enough visions so as to offer you bigger and better blessings.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Novelist Jane Austen (1775–1817) confessed she was a "wild beast." Really? The author who wrote masterfully about the complex social lives of wealthy British people? Here's my theory: The wild beast in her made her original, unsentimental, humorous, and brilliant in creating her stories. How is your own inner wild beast, Capricorn? According to my reading of the astrological omens, now is an excellent time to give it fun, rich assignments. What parts of your life would benefit from tapping into raw, primal energy?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian poet Jack Gilbert wrote, "I lie in the dark wondering if this quiet in me now is a beginning or an end." I don't know how Gilbert solved his dilemma. But I suspect you will soon be inclined to pose a similar question. In your case, the answer will be that the quiet in you is a beginning. Ah! But in the early going, it may not resemble a beginning. You might be puzzled by its fuzzy, meandering quality. But sooner or later, the quiet in you will become fertile and inspirational. You will ride it to the next chapter of your life story.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The genre of poetry known as haiku often relies on unexpected juxtapositions. Critic R. H. Blyth observed, "In haiku, the two entirely different things that are joined in sameness are poetry and sensation, spirit and matter." I suspect your life in the coming weeks will have metaphorical resemblances to haikus. You will be skilled at blending elements that aren't often combined, or that should be blended but haven't been. For inspiration, read these haikus by Raymond Roseliep. 1. in the stream / stones making half / the music. 2. horizon / wild swan drifting through / the woman's body. 3. birthcry! / the stars / are all in place. 4. bathwater / down the drain / some of me. 5. grass / holding the shape / of our night. 6. campfire extinguished, / the woman washing dishes / in a pan of stars.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Poet Jennifer Willoughby writes, "I am so busy. I am practicing my new hobby of watching me become someone else. There is so much violence in reconstruction. Every minute is grisly, but I have to participate. I am building what I cannot break." I wouldn't describe your own reconstruction process during recent months as "violent" or "grisly," Aries, but it has been strenuous and demanding. The good news is that you have mostly completed the most demanding work. Soon the process will become more fun. Congratulations on creating an unbreakable new version of yourself!

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Homework: You can now make a change that has previously seemed impossible. What is it? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com

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NEED TO CHANGE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS?

To join or leave the email list for this newsletter, or to change the address where you receive it, go to:

If my newsletters don't reach your inbox, look in your "Bulk Mail" or "Junk Mail" folder.

P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address to anyone.

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Submissions sent to Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length, style, and content.

Requests for anonymity will be honored. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2022 Rob Brezsny

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