You Know What to Do
and you know how to do it
Say to those you love: I have sipped the gusts of your dusky gaze, and so I am eternally mobilized.
—my rendering of a poem by poet Sohrab Sepehri
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SUCCESS! Last week, I upgraded the way I offer you my Audio Horoscopes and Text-Message Horoscopes.
New machines! Fresh codes!
Amazingly, it all worked pretty well. Thanks for your patience and understanding, everyone!
Since I give away my written horoscopes for free, these two other services are key sources of income for me. I need them to work well.
Here's a detailed explanation of the new system: https://tinyurl.com/NewFWASystem
If you do have any issues with the new system, please get in touch with my fabulous tech support team at freewillcs@gmail.com.
Access the expanded Audio Horoscopes and Daily text Message Horoscopes HERE.
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MIRABILIA
What are mirabilia? They're phenomena that inspire wonder, winsome curiosities, small marvels, eccentric enchantments. Here are a few:
* The National Center for Atmospheric Research reports that the average cloud is the same weight as 100 elephants.
* The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles.
* With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse colonies perform a dance to the sun.
* A seven-year-old Minnesota boy received patent number 6,368,227 for a new method of swinging on a swing.
* Clown fish can alter their gender as their social status rises.
* In the Hindu epic the Mahabharata, the hero and heroine fall in love without ever gazing upon each other, simply by hearing tales about each other's good deeds.
* Twelve percent of the population believes that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
* The closest modern relative of the Tyrannosaurus rex may be the chicken.
* Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does.
* Singing Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia.
* All the gold ever mined could be molded into a 60-foot bust of your mom.
* The moon smells like exploded firecrackers.
* The most frequently shoplifted book in America is the Bible.
* Black sheep have a better sense of smell than white sheep.
* There are about 60,000 miles of blood vessels in your body. Every square inch of your body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.
* The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their protective covering that only the intense heat of a forest fire can free them, allowing them to sprout.
* Anthropologists say that in every culture in history, children have played the game hide and seek.
* Robust singing skill is correlated with a strong immune system in songbirds. Male birds with the most extensive repertoire of tunes also have the largest spleens, a key measure of immune system health.
* In an apparent attempt to raise their volume above the prevailing human din, some nightingales in big cities have learned to unleash 95-decibel songs, matching the loudness of a chainsaw.
* There is a statistically significant probability of world-class athletes and military leaders being born when Mars is rising in the sky.
* Some piranhas are vegetarians
* In the pueblos of New Mexico, bricks still measure 33 by 15 by 10 centimeters, proportions that almost exactly match those of the bricks used to build Egypt's Temple of Hatshepsut 3,500 years ago.
* Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal.
* Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.
* Scientists believe they'll be able to figure out why cancer cells are virtually immortal, and then apply the secret to keeping normal cells alive much longer, thereby dramatically expanding the human life span.
* Thirty-eight percent of North America is wilderness.
* There are about nine million people on earth who were born the same day as you.
* Your body contains so much iron that you could make a spike out of it, and that spike would be strong enough to hold you up.
* Very few raindrops are actually raindrop-shaped. A far greater number take the form of doughnuts.
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UNEXPECTED REDEMPTION
Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness.
After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches.
Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity."
Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.
Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.
Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica.
"You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food -- mixing it up with all God's enzymes -- and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies.
"Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"
Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.
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CAN THE IMAGINATION SAVE US?
Feminist philosopher Susan Griffin relates a story that exemplifies the possibility of envisaging solutions that defy conventional logic. The story is below, all in Griffin’s words.
Along with many others who crowd the bed of a large truck, poet Robert Desnos is being taken away from the barracks of the concentration camp where he has been held prisoner.
Leaving the barracks, the mood is somber; everyone knows the truck is headed for the gas chambers.
And when the truck arrives no one can speak at all; even the guards fall silent.
But this silence is soon interrupted by an energetic man, who jumps into the line and grabs one of the condemned.
Improbable as it is, Desnos reads the man's palm. Oh, he says, I see you have a very long lifeline.
And you are going to have three children. He is exuberant. And his excitement is contagious. First one man, then another, offers up his hand, and the prediction is for longevity, more children, abundant joy.
As Desnos reads more palms, not only does the mood of the prisoners change but that of the guards too. How can one explain it? Perhaps the element of surprise has planted a shadow of doubt in their minds. If they told themselves these deaths were inevitable, this no longer seems so inarguable.
They are in any case so disoriented by this sudden change of mood among those they are about to kill that they are unable to go through with the executions.
So all the men, along with Desnos, are packed back onto the truck and taken back to the barracks.
Desnos has saved his own life and the lives of others by using his imagination.
The story poses a question. Can the imagination save us?
Robert Desnos was famous for his belief in the imagination. He believed it could transform society.
And what a wild leap this was, at the mouth of the gas chambers, to imagine a long life! In his mind he simply stepped outside the world as it was created by the SS.
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LIFE IS WRETCHED AND GLORIOUS
“Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected.
“But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction.
“On the other hand, wretchedness – life’s painful aspect – softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there.
“The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple.
“Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.”
- Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
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GENUINE LISTENING
“Genuine listening requires that you willingly bare witness to what someone else needs to say while simultaneously sparing them of your own solution, defense, dismissal, alternative reality, rebuttal, counterpoint, comparable story or more extreme example.
“This kind of listening is a very ‘active’ part to play in a conversation. You have to believe for those moments that none of the things you might say could possibly be as valuable as hearing someone out.
“You may need to employ every ounce of your strength of character to actually pay attention and not butt-in with your own bit. That kind of attention paid to another is powerful medicine.”
~ Gil Hedley, Integral Anatomy
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Listening to Music With a Groove Actually Boosts Brain Function. https://tinyurl.com/2p8cyawj
Striking a Power Pose Can Give a Person More Self-Confidence. https://tinyurl.com/2s4d9znp
Women Finds $36K in Free Craigslist Chair Cushion – and Never Considered Keeping the Money for Herself. https://tinyurl.com/msw7z8a7
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For a lot more pronoiac resources and ideas, read my book *Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings*
It's available as an ebook at Barnes and Noble:
https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaNook
As an ebook at Amazon:
https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaEbook
If you have the Apple Books app, click on it and search for "Pronoia."
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The hard-copy book is available at Bookshop.org: https://tinyurl.com/548hp8y8
Available at Powells: https://bit.ly/PowellsPronoia
Available at Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaBN
Available at Amazon: https://bit.ly/Pronoia
A free preview of the book is available here: https://tinyurl.com/PronoiaPreview
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Please tell me your own nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES: Truthrooster@gmail.com.
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Have you gotten your minimum daily requirement of ecstatic union with all of creation?
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning June 9
Copyright 2022 by Rob Brezsny
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's an excellent time to correct and uplift your self-image. I invite you to speak the following affirmations aloud: "I am not damaged. I am not on the wrong path. I am not inept or ignorant or off-kilter. The truth is, I am learning how to live. I am learning how to be a soulful human and I am doing a reasonably good job at that task. I do a lot of things really well. I'm getting to know myself better every day. I constantly surprise myself with how skilled I am at adjusting to life's constant changes. I AM AMAZED AT HOW MUCH PROGRESS I HAVE MADE IN LEARNING HOW TO LIVE."
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the Tibetan language, the term nyingdu-la means "most honored poison of my heart." Many of us know at least one person who fits that description: an enemy we love to hate or a loved one who keeps tweaking our destiny or a paradoxical ally who is both hurtful and helpful. According to my analysis, it's time for you to transform your relationship with a certain nyingdu-la in your life. The bond between you might have generated vital lessons for you. But now it's time for a re-evaluation and redefinition.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Don’t pray for the rain to stop," advises Leo poet Wendell Berry. "Pray for good luck fishing when the river floods." That's useful advice for you, my dear. The situation you're in could turn out to be a case of either weird luck or good luck. And how you interpret the situation may have a big impact on which kind of luck it brings. I urge you to define the potential opportunities that are brewing and concentrate on feeding them.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo writer Julio Cortázar (1914–1984) once remarked, "How tiring it gets being the same person all the time." That's surprising. In fact, Cortázar was an innovative and influential author who wrote over 30 books in four genres and lived for extended periods in five countries. It's hard to imagine him ever being bored by his multifaceted self. Even if you're not a superstar like Cortázar, Virgo, I expect you will be highly entertained and amused by your life in the coming weeks. I bet you will be even more interesting than usual. Best of all, you will learn many fresh secrets about your mysterious soul.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The blogger Frogbestfriend says, "One of the biggest problems with society nowadays is that I am so, so sleepy." Frogbestfriend is humorously suggesting that his inability to maintain good sleep habits is rooted in civilization's dysfunctions. He's right, of course! Many of our seemingly personal problems are at least partially rooted in the pathological ways the whole world operates. Our culture influences us to do things that aren't always healthy and wise. I bring this to your attention, Libra, because now is a favorable time to meditate on society's crazy-making effects on you. Now is also a pivotal moment to heal yourself of those crazy-making effects.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Poet Maggie Smith writes, "We talk so much of light. Please let me speak on behalf of the good dark. Let us talk more of how dark the beginning of a day is." I offer her proposal as a fertile theme for your meditations. Of all the signs in the zodiac, you Scorpios are most skilled at teasing out the good stuff from shadows and secrets and twilight. And your potency in these matters is even higher than usual right now. Do us all a favor and find the hidden redemptions and potential regenerations.
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ARE YOU THE HERO OF YOUR OWN LIFE?
"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield.
I'd like to inspire you to create a story of your own that begins with similar words. That's why I provide these free horoscopes for you.
If you'd ever enjoy getting even more assistance from me, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, which I create for you each week. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.
To buy and listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope, go to https://freewillastrology.sparkns.com/
Register and/or log in through the main page.
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The cost is $7 per sign. (Discounts are available for bulk purchases.)
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When actors and other creative people in film win Oscars at the Academy Awards ceremony, they come on stage and deliver short talks, acknowledging their honor. These speeches often include expressions of gratitude. An analysis revealed that over the years, Sagittarian director Steven Spielberg has been thanked by winners more often than anyone else—even more than God. Based on my reading of astrological omens, I believe you deserve that level of appreciation in the coming weeks. Please show this horoscope to everyone you know who may be willing to carry out my mandate. Be proactive in collecting tribute, credit, and favors.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the ancient Greek story of Odysseus, the hero leaves his home in Ithaka to fight in the Trojan War. When the conflict is over, he yearns to return to the beloved life he left behind. But his journey takes 10 years. His tests and travails are many. The 20th-century Greek poet C. P. Cavafy offered advice to Odysseus at the beginning of his quest: "As you set out for Ithaka, hope your road is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery . . . Keep Ithaca always in your mind. Arriving there is what you're destined for. But don't hurry the journey. Better if it lasts for years, so you're old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you've gained on the way." As you begin your new phase of returning home, Capricorn, I invite you to keep Cavafy's thoughts in mind. (Read the poem: tinyurl.com/HomeToIthaka. Translated by Edmund Keeley.)
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "I have never, ever, EVER met anyone who has regretted following their heart," writes life coach Marie Forleo. But what exactly does she mean by "following their heart"? Does that mean ignoring cautions offered by your mind? Not necessarily. Does it require you to ignore everyone's opinions about what you should do? Possibly. When you follow your heart, must you sacrifice money and status and security? In some cases, yes. But in other cases, following your heart may ultimately enhance your relationship with money and status and security. Anyway, Aquarius. I hope I've inspired you to meditate on what it means to follow your heart—and how you can do that intensely during the coming months.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Actor and author Jenny Slate testifies, "As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain and more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love." That is the single best inspirational message I can offer you right now. In the coming months, you will earn the right and the capacity to make the same declaration. Your self-definition will become progressively clearer and stronger. And this waxing superpower will enable you to conquer at least some of your fear about not getting enough love.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "It takes a spasm of love to write a poem," wrote Aries author Erica Jong. I will add that it takes a spasm of love to fix a problem with someone you care about. It also takes a spasm of love to act with kindness when you don't feel kind. A spasm of love is helpful when you need to act with integrity in a confusing situation and when you want to heal the past so it doesn't plague the future. All the above advice should be useful for you in the coming weeks, Aries. Are there any other variations you can think of? Fill in the blank in the next sentence: It takes a spasm of love to _____________.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our badness as what is best in us," wrote philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. When I read that ambitious epigram, I didn't know what he was referring to. By "badness," did he mean the ugly, pathological parts of us? That couldn't be right. So I read scholars who had studied the great philosopher. Their interpretation: Nietzsche believed the urges that some religions seek to inhibit are actually healthy for us. We should celebrate, not suppress, our inclinations to enjoy sensual delights and lusty living. In fact, we should define them as being the best in us. I encourage you Bulls to do just that in the coming weeks. It's a favorable time to intensify your devotion to joy, pleasure, and revelry.
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Homework: What part of your life would most benefit from redemption and regeneration? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com
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Submissions sent to Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length, style, and content.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2022 Rob Brezsny
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If only raindrops tastes like their shape! 😋