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Lydia Spencer's avatar

@freewillastrology Thank you so much for this public insight! I have been feeling this way for years and I work with deep trauma in humans and it's just nice to have that reality affirmed. There's something off there, and I've known it and I'm happy to see that you know it. I work and live with the reality of PTSD and CPTSD. I appreciate you so much 💜

M. A. Porter's avatar

This piece is an blessing of awareness for my broken heart. Between 2012 and 2019, both of my young-adult children died. I found myself living among a sympathetic social group who, after awhile, left me alone, waiting for me to either get over or through it. I actually understood; people my age count the years ahead and see that they're fewer than the ones behind and they want happier associations. Two dear friends (one old, one a new surprise) stayed close, though, and helped me make peace with the trauma of losing my two beautiful babies grown into intelligent, loving men. "Make peace" are the operative words. I'm over here now, on the other side of Covid, living in the dystopia that is increasingly the USA. In perhap a perverse way, my constant companion Sorrow now helps me to see on to the other side when the Orange Menace and his minions will be gone. I might not live that long, but okay. Sorrow and I still have pleny time to witness the beauty that still offers itself to us, and the colors are more precious, the scents more envigorating, the sendation of the desert breeze on my skin deeply intimate. If I lived only in the present, focusing only in the present moment, I would enjoy these things, sure, but the now-accepted context of healing from my terrible loss makes them more profoundly grand. And Sorrow has convinced me that my boys are smiling on me from wherever they are as I walk calmly, tears only indulged once a day, through my days. God bless you, Rob.

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