Zero Tolerance of Misogyny

Redoubling Efforts to Dissolve Toxic Masculinity

Of all the potentially devastating results that may come from the election of a racist rapist misogynist fascist felon president, one that rivets my focus is this: the intensification of misogyny and sexism expressed by American men.

Many men are already using the ascendance of the Chief Abuser to justify and rationalize their own terrible behavior.

The ghastly new "Your body, my choice" meme that is pouring forth from toxic males is just one sign that we are awash in heightened pathology. Here’s more of the story:

https://tinyurl.com/MisogynyRise

https://tinyurl.com/MisogynyOutbreak

Toxic masculinity propelled Trump: https://tinyurl.com/TrumpToxicMale

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MEN NURTURING THE SOVEREIGNTY AND SAFETY OF WOMEN

In light of the alarming rise in misogyny and sexism, I’m calling on my fellow men to join me in intensifying our efforts to nurture the sovereignty and safety of women.

Here are two immediate ways to do this:

1. We can examine ourselves for any inclination we have to engage in misogynist and sexist behavior, and work to correct those tendencies.

2. We can be brave and clear as we call out men we know whenever they perpetrate misogynist and sexist language and behavior.

I understand that it may not always be safe for us men to stand up to other men when they engage in misogyny and sexism. There are many toxic males who are prone to leap into anger and even violence. So our task is to oppose and correct misogyny without exposing ourselves to danger.

It’s even more potentially unsafe for women and people of other genders to say these things to men. Please be very careful.

Note: I am a cisgender straight man making the statements above to other men. (Thanks for the suggestions to @aslynn-audhd.bsky.social, Jill Marlene, and @wowyoumadeit.)

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LET’S PROTECT OUR BOY CHILDREN AND YOUNG MEN FROM THE PANDEMIC OF MISOGYNY

Rebecca Solnit writes: “The misogynist / white nationalist / incel / hate-saturated / porn-drenched man-sphere is coming for your boy children.

“Have you prepared a counter-offensive to expose them to better notions of what it means to be human and how to treat other humans? And why being a decent human being is actually a brilliant survival-and-happiness strategy, even if it means opting out of forms of abuse too often confused with freedom and manhood?

“The man-sphere won the election and got a rapist elected. He in turn nominated a cluster of sex crime perpetrators, and a VP who's obsessed with reducing women to stay-at-home breeding stock enduring domestic violence for the sake of . . . yeah, the man-sphere.”

More from Rebecca Solnit: https://tinyurl.com/OpposeMisogyny

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Jesse Nichols writes: For us men to be women’s allies, it means being an ally at all times. Not just when everyone is watching. It means calling out your boys when there are no women around to witness your choice to be strong. It means telling your best friend he’s out of line when it’s just the two of you, knowing that it could affect your friendship.

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MY ABORTION STORY

Periodically, I express how crucial it is that we Americans have the right to abortion. I also tell the story about the abortions one of my women partners and I experienced.

When I do, numerous women write to me and say they have never heard a man talk in these supportive ways about abortion. This makes me very sad.

Dear Men: Please start talking about how important it is that women and anyone who can become pregnant needs to be able to get an abortion if they need or want one. Please talk about your own abortion experiences.

Below is my story:

My ability to become who I aspired to be would have been impossible without legal abortion.

Earlier in my life, a woman partner and I had abortions. I am fortunate we weren't forced to bring children into the world that we couldn't properly care for.

Ultimately, my wife and I chose exactly when we wanted to welcome a new human—when I had enough money and emotional maturity to do so.

Legal abortion made it possible for me to be a conscious, loving father for the one child I helped to raise.

My life is successful, and an important factor in that grace has been legal abortion.

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PS: Among those who can become pregnant are cisgender women, some non-binary people, some intersex people, some Two Spirit people, and some trans men.

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Art below by https://www.facebook.com/liberaljane

SUBLIME FEMININE INTELLIGENCE from my book Astrology Is Real

What are the qualities of people who embody sublime feminine intelligence, as I aspire to do — and as I encourage people of all genders to do?

• They are lovers of equality; activists committed to social and economic justice; in service to people who are from disadvantaged backgrounds; excited to protect and preserve the health of the natural world; passionate about diminishing militarism, oligarchy, bigotry, misogyny, and racism. 

• They believe that no one is free unless we all are free; that the supreme goal is to reduce suffering and increase joy. 

• They prize their understanding of the interconnectedness of all things. 

• Listening well is a quality they value. 

• They are willing to expand and adjust their understandings of the world if they encounter new information that reveals their previous beliefs are obsolete or too narrow. 

• They consider the needs of as many people as possible, not just the needs of their immediate community and network of allies. 

• They are emotionally intelligent. They understand it’s as crucial to develop a savvy relationship with our feelings as it is to be intellectually smart. 

• They regard relationship as a crucible for spiritual work. 

• They are not fundamentalists and authoritarians who believe that only their truths are true. They are willing to consider the value of alternate points of view.

• They regard practical expressions of kindness, compassion, and ethical behavior as sacred practices. 

• They proceed as if loving and caring for animals and plants and the earth is a prime test of our spiritual intentions. 

• They understand this: To accomplish practical changes that serve the greatest good requires hard work in the trenches of political struggle, often having to deal with people who have different beliefs. 

• They regard play, fun, and humor not as diversions from “serious” spiritual work, but rather being at the center of it. 

• They are nuanced, not simplistic; respect dialog more than authoritative pronouncements; seek consensus, not doctrinaire obeisance; understand that perfectionism may bethe enemy of the good. 

• They aspire to regard everyone as a potential teacher. 

• Love is their highest priority, their go-to motivation. 

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Here’s a link to F*ck the Patriarchy Playlists on Spotify and elsewhere:

https://tinyurl.com/BreakPatriarchy

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SPECIAL MESSAGE TO WONDERFUL FEMINIST MEN: Thank you for joining me in the fun crusade to make the world a sanctuary for people who identify as women — as well as for all of us other genders who are animated by our own inner woman.

I am cheered by the abundance of emotionally intelligent feminist men I have been privileged to know in my life. They are wild, kind, creative, compassionate, and immune to the abusive propaganda. May they thrive and flourish. May their influence grow.

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Shannon Amrein writes: I am actively choosing to see the incredible men around me every day. I am actively choosing to notice when men are kind and supportive, when they show up for me in any way. I am actively choosing to see and celebrate loving masculine energy.

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Image by Shepard Fairey

STEPS MEN CAN TAKE TO SUPPORT FEMINISM by Pamela Clark. More by Pamela: https://tinyurl.com/PracticalToolsForMen

1. Do 50% (or more) of housework.

2. Do 50% (or more) of emotional support work in your intimate relationships and friendships.

3. Consume cultural products produced by women.

4. Give women space

5. … but insert yourself into spaces where you can use your maleness to interrupt sexism.

6. When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.

7. Educate yourself about sexual consent and make sure there is clear, unambiguous communication of consent in all your sexual relationships.

8. Be responsible for contraception.

9. Have progressive name and pronoun politics.

10. If you have children, be an equal parent.

11. Pay attention to and challenge informal instances of gender role enforcement.

12. Be mindful of implicit and explicit gendered power differentials in your relationships with women.

13. Make sure that honesty and respect guide your romantic and sexual relationships with women.

14. Don’t be an online bystander in the face of sexism.

15. Be responsible with money in domestic/romantic relationships.

16. Be responsible for your own health.

17. Don’t ogle or make comments about women. Keep your comments to yourself.

18. Pay attention to the sex of experts and key figures presenting information to you in the media.

19. Ensure that some of your heroes and role models are women.

20. Praise the virtues and accomplishments of women in your life to others.

21. Have integrity with your male friends. (i.e., Don’t be a “bro.”)

22. Don’t treat your spouse like a “nag.”

23. Know that acknowledging your own sexist opinions and stereotypes you hold is not enough. Do something about them.

24. Befriend women.

25. Find female mentors/leaders. Be willing to be subordinate to women.

26. When in a romantic relationship, be responsible for events and special dates associated with your side of the family.

27. Don’t police women’s appearance.

28. Offer to accompany female friends if they have to walk home alone at night or in public spaces where they may feel unsafe.

29. Inject feminism into your daily conversations with other men.

30. If you have a tendency to behave inappropriately toward women when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, do not consume drugs or alcohol.

31. Be aware of the physical and emotional space you occupy, and don’t take up more space than you need.

32. Walk the walk about income inequality.

33. Get in the habit of treating your maleness as an unearned privilege that you have to actively work to cede rather than femaleness being an unearned disadvantage that women have to work to overcome.

34. Self-identify as a feminist.

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Dear Readers: I know this week’s newsletter is long and intense. That’s because I feel extra passionate about these issues!

I will strive to be briefer in future newsletters. Thanks for your patience and forbearance!

Love,

Rob

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

For the Week of November 28

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I invite you to get a head start on formulating your New Year’s resolutions. January 1 is a good time to instigate robust new approaches to living your life, but the coming weeks will be an even better time for you Sagittarians. To get yourself in the mood, imagine you have arrived at Day Zero, Year One. Simulate the feeling of being empty and open and fertile. Imagine that nothing binds you or inhibits you. Assume that the whole world is eager to know what you want. Act as if you have nothing to prove to anyone and everything to gain by being audacious and adventurous.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There was a long period when many popular songs didn't come to a distinct end. Instead, they faded out. The volume would gradually diminish as a catchy riff repeated over and over again. As you approach a natural climax to one of your cycles, Capricorn, I recommend that you borrow the fade-out as a metaphorical strategy. In my astrological opinion, it's best not to finish abruptly. See if you can create a slow, artful ebb or a gradual, graceful dissolution.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When he was young, Aquarian musician and sound engineer Norio Ohga wrote a critical letter to the electronics company now known as Sony. He complained in detail about the failings of their products. Instead of being defensive, executives at the company heeded Ohga's suggestions for improvement. They even hired him as an employee and ultimately made him president of the company at age 40. He went on to have a stellar career as an innovator. In the spirit of the Sony executives, I recommend that you seek feedback and advice from potential helpers who are the caliber of Norio Ohga. The information you gather in the coming weeks could prove to be highly beneficial.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): What would your paradise look and feel like? If you could remake the world to suit your precise needs for maximum freedom, well-being, and inspiration, what changes would you instigate? Now is an excellent time to ponder these possibilities, Pisces. You have more ability than usual to shape and influence the environments where you hang out. And a good way to rouse this power is to imagine your ideal conditions. Be bold and vivid. Amuse yourself with extravagant and ebullient fantasies as you envision your perfect world.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Renowned composer Mozart had a sister nicknamed Nannerl. During their childhoods, she was as much a musical prodigy as he. They toured Europe doing performances together, playing harpsichord and piano. Some critics regarded her as the superior talent. But her parents ultimately decided it was unseemly for her, as a female, to continue her development as a genius. She was forcibly retired so she could learn housekeeping and prepare for marriage. Is there a part of your destiny, Aries, that resembles Nannerl’s? Has some of your brilliance been suppressed or denied? The coming months will be an excellent time to recover and revive it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do you know if you have any doppelgangers, Taurus? I bet you will meet one in the coming weeks. How about soul friends, alter egos, or evil twins? If there’s no one like that in your life right now, they may arrive soon. And if you already know such people, I suspect your relationships will grow richer. Mirror magic and shadow vision are in the works! I’m guessing you will experience the best, most healing kind of double trouble. Substitutes and stand-ins will have useful offers and tempting alternatives. Parallel realities may come leaking through into your reality. Opportunities for symbiosis and synergy will be at an all-time high. Sounds like wild fun!

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To support my work, please consider:

buying my Expanded Audio Horoscopes and Daily Horoscopes

and/or

donating at my Paypal site: paypal.com/paypalme/GiftsForRob

(contribute as Friends and Family)

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Humans have been eating a wide range of oranges since ancient times. Among the most popular type in modern times is the navel orange. It's large, seedless, sweet, juicy, and easy to peel. But it didn't exist until the 1820s, when a genetic mutation on a single tree in Brazil spawned this new variety. Eventually, the navel became a revolutionary addition to the orange family. I foresee a metaphorically comparable development in your life during the coming months, Gemini. An odd tweak or interesting glitch could lead to a highly favorable expansion of possibilities. Be alert for it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian, you are a finalist for our "Most Resourceful and Successful Survivor of the Year" trophy. And if you take a brief trip to hell in the next two weeks, you could assure your victory. But wait! Let me be more exact: "Hell" is an incorrect terminology; I just used it for shock effect. The fact is that “hell" is a religious invention that mischaracterizes the true nature of the realm of mystery, shadows, and fertile darkness. In reality, the nether regions can be quite entertaining and enriching if you cultivate righteous attitudes. And what are those attitudes? A frisky curiosity to learn truths you have been ignorant about; a brave resolve to unearth repressed feelings and hidden yearnings; and a drive to rouse spiritual epiphanies that aren’t available when you're in the trance of everyday consciousness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In my astrological opinion, you need and deserve big doses of fun, play, pleasure, and love. Amusement and enchantment, too. As well as excitement, hilarity, and delight. I trust you will schedule a series of encounters and adventures that provide you with a surplus of these necessary resources. Can you afford a new toy or two? Or a romantic getaway to a sanctuary of adoration? Or a smart gamble that will attract into your vicinity a stream of rosy luck? I suggest that you be audacious in seeking the sweet, rich feelings you require.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): December will be Home Enhancement Month for you Virgos. Get started immediately! I’ll offer tips for how to proceed and ask you to dream up your own ideas. 1. Phase out décor or accessories that no longer embody the style of who you have become. 2. Add new décor and accessories that will inspire outbreaks of domestic bliss. 3. Encourage everyone in your household to contribute creative ideas to generate mutual enhancement. 4. Do a blessing ritual that will raise the spiritual vibes. 5. Invite your favorite people over and ask them to shower your abode with blessings.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran songwriter and producer Kevin MacLeod has composed over 2,000 pieces of music—and given all of them away for free. That’s why his work is so widespread. It has been featured in thousands of films and millions of YouTube videos. His composition “Monkeys Spinning Monkeys” has been played on TikTok over 31 billion times. (PS: He has plenty of money, in part because so many appreciative people give him free-will donations through his Patreon page.) I propose we make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks and months, Libra. How could you parlay your generosity and gifts into huge benefits for yourself?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to my grandmother, I have such a mellifluous voice I should have pursued a career as a newscaster or dj on the radio. In eighth grade, my science teacher admired my work and urged me to become a professional biologist. When I attended Duke University, my religious studies professor advised me to follow his path. Over the years, many others have offered their opinions about who I should be. As much as I appreciated their suggestions, I have always trusted one authority: my muses. In the coming weeks and months, Scorpio, you may, too, receive abundant advice about your best possible path. You may be pressured to live up to others’ expectations. But I encourage you to do as I have done. Trust your inner advisors.

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